“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.” ~Lao Tzu
How many of you have often felt: “why can’t my partner listen to me?, she/he would see that I am right.” Isn’t this something a lot of us relate to? We acquire this “I’m right” mentality quite honestly. As we were growing up, we believed that the way things were in our family was the way things were in the world. Our parents were our main models for relationship and marriage. Unfortunately, our partner also formed their beliefs through their family, a different family than the one in which we grew up. Now what do we do? Could there be more than one “right way” to do something? Only after we get older and experience other couples and how they relate, or we begin to work on ourselves, can we even imagine the possibility that there might be something different than what we grew up accepting.
What is more detrimental to happiness than the pursuit of being right … which is to say, being seen as right. For personal proof of this, consider the people you know who are most insistent on their politics, their patterns, their viewpoint, their way… they tend to judge the most, insult the most, complain the most, and suffer the most.
Honestly try this – the next time you KNOW you are right about any situation with a anyone close to you whose viewpoint opposes yours, just try and let go of the need to BE right and give your opinion.
Even when that “I know I am right and he is wrong” feeling fills you,stop yourself from reacting this time.
Think about it – Is there truly a reason to even pursue the feeling? Will resolving the difference really lead to an important benefit, such as preventing accidents, improving health, making or saving money or the like? If so, consciously remind yourself to proceed softly and kindly this time … remind yourself (and tell the other person!) that you are pursuing this discussion gently only to achieve the desired benefit, not to be seen as right.
After this first time of letting go of the need to be right — even and especially if it means the other person will think they’re right – watch what happens. Most probably, Nothing – your world won’t collapse. Things won’t fall to pieces because you didn’t try to prove that your point was right.
Walk your talk and watch people ( in time ) follow suite. They ALSO end up backing off the need to be right, making life all the more pleasant.
Let’s just keep in mind that our blessing in life is The pursuit of happiness